Why Do We Care So Much About Gender?

If you don't think people are entirely wrapped up in the construct of gender, here is a prime example:

Baby Storm.

(STEVE RUSSELL / TORONTO STAR)

When this article was published in 2011, there was an uproar of criticism against the parents' method of raising their baby. Only a handful of people close to Storm are aware of the baby's biological sex. Storm's sex is not ambiguous, but the family has raised Storm gender neutral, meaning the baby did not receive any strongly gender-biased upbringing-- Storm decide what to play with and what to wear, including things for both traditionally boy and traditionally girl.

Here are some comments left on another article about Storm:

Citing fake symptoms of a psychological disorder-- a classic response.

Another testament to how important gender is: this person needed to bring it up in a hateful comment.

The most common argument against raising a gender neutral child: it will mess the child up.

This idea, as shown through the response to Storm's gender neutrality, is often appalling and difficult to understand. Many questions are raised by these often brash reactions. The main question being: Why is gender so important to us?

Gender, on its own, is socially constructed. This is not to be confused with sex, which is biological and not chosen (although you could say that gender is not particularly chosen either). What does socially constructed mean? To cite my sociology notes from Soc 030:

Social Construction- when groups decide what is "right" and live by, teach, and enforce these rules.

The easiest ways to tell if something is socially constructed is if it changes over time or over place. Take for example gender expectations in the United States. Up until around the 1960's, women were generally expected to remain home and take care of the children while the men provided for the family. That is just one small example, but that is an argument for a different time.

Storm is a perfect example of both how social constructs exist and how they can change. It is important to note here that since the original article in 2011, Storm has chosen to identify as a girl, using the pronouns she/her. Storm is also a perfect example of how harshly we react when such strong social constructs are challenged (similar to basically every rights movement that happened in the 1960's).

The first criticism specifically brought up in the comments of this article (the same article as the above comments) this is taking away the child's right to "embrace their gender" and "rejoice" (from this comment). This idea plays right into the social construct of gender, that there are specific activities, behaviors, clothing, and so forth for each gender. Given the definition provided earlier, wanting to abide by the "rules" of society is a viable viewpoint, since society, as a whole, has created these ideas.

It is also important to mention that up until rather recently, corporal punishment was a widely accepted method of parenting, even acceptable from those who are not related. While corporal punishment is still more present than some would like to see, the idea has become inappropriate to many, has been largely debated, and has undergone change (only 19 states allow corporal punishment in schools). My intention in bringing corporal punishment up, along with the rights movements of the 1960's, is to simply imply that, similar to other situations, a widely accepted belief could turn out to be incorrect, or be revised to better suit a new generation.

One of the most common criticisms is that raising a gender neutral child will "mess up a child" (from the third comment pictured above).

While Storm is only about 5 years old now, she has successfully identified with the gender she feels most comfortable with, and has gained an important lesson very few children have learned: not everyone has to strictly abide to their biological sex.

Jazz, Storm's sister
Steve Russell via Getty Images

Storm's older sister, Jazz, while was not strictly raised gender neutral, was also given the same openness to identify with any gender. Jazz is biologically male, but has identified as female since she was six. These two children alone are able to prove that biological sex does not always align with personal feelings, not to mention the thousands of transgender people who are younger and older, and who have struggled significantly just to identify in the way they feel. Ask Storm, ask Jazz, Caitlyn Jenner, ask any person who has taken the risk to identify with a different gender, and I'm sure they would say they are functioning splendidly (and I sincerely hope are feeling better once they did).

I recognize that some people need to see concrete evidence to be convinced gender neutrality is a good way to raise children, or at least acceptable. Even then, not everyone can easily change their views on such a heated topic, as with the 19 states that still legalize corporal punishment despite evidence that it is associated with increased aggression and antisocial behavior.

I, myself, would like to see results (hopefully) proving that gender really isn't as important to a child's development as we make it out to be. It is only recently that transgenders and gender neutrality have become popular (in the loosest sense of the term), and any empirical study needs a significant number of participants, as well as time and money, in order to create significant results. The studies conducted on corporal punishment were only compiled after 62 years.

While we, as a generation, may not personally be able to witness results of studies on gender and development, it is important to keep an open mind and to remember we are learning along with everyone else as time goes on.

I would love to hear your opinions on this topic, and I'm open to having a conversation if you are feeling up to it!